You can remember those old crank wall phones in the 30’s & 40’s. They were wooden boxes with a metal mouthpiece, a long cord to a big black receiver, and a little hand crank. There was a single direct line connecting houses to it. Folks would "Rrrring" someone with a short and two longs, three shorts and a long, etc. When any phone rang, every phone hooked to that line jingled. Anyone could listen to any on-going conversation, such as.…" Walt, …seen my old spotted souse? She rooted under the west fence; she’s a goner. But if you see her in your turnips, will ya’ pen her fer me?"

In my mind’s eye, I can see mom, aunts, cousins and neighbors racing to pick up as they listened for gossip. Everyone knew others were listening in, and conservation was guarded. In the hurry of catching anything juicy, bowls were dropped, wet flour wiped on aprons, babies put on the floor, supper burned, etc.

With today’s wireless phones communicating is endless. Without a care, personal business, secret deals, or any form of verbal garbage is vomited upward and outward toward someone. Yet, today’s wireless phone talk has come full circle! Last week I overheard a man describe an interment tryst:

A research report in 2006 shows the difference between male and female talking. The report concludes men speak about 3,000 words per day; women speak about 5,000 words per day. From personal experiences, this data is flawed, because my wife uses her 5-K before lunch.

One of my favorites is people shopping! Have you seen some poor husband in a grocery store standing hopelessly in front of shelves of bread? He is talking to his wife asking advice about which loaf to buy. There are only 3 basic kinds: white, wheat and rye. Add in the factor that new cells take pictures. Add another shopping twist: wife & husband shopping in a furniture department. He is taking photos of furniture on his cell phone, while she is jabbering about dimension, finish, size and stuff that never gets broadcasts.

But here’s the question. If the husband chooses the WRONG bread, is he wrong for ‘listening’ to his wife; is the couple worried that by-standers might think their furniture selection is too funky?

All of this action over phone talk reminds me of the old-time ringers, where folks would literally drop everything to listen in. As it was difficult to keep phone secrets back then, so it today…. Opps, have to go. My cell is beeping, and I’m on the can…Have to flush first, wipe, and catch this incoming.